apartment interior: per request

My sister Mica posted about her trip to come see us last year.  She showed our house but was missing pictures of the interior.  This is me complying with her request.  I've learnt that I'm lousy at photo-journalism.  Seeing her pictures of our Lexington and our home made me realize how much I've failed to document!  I don't have any regrets necessarily--this year has been about teaching preschool and being pregnant.  I am feeling just fine about that.  Blogging took a hit, yes.  But who knows?  Maybe this little space will become more regular when my time is a little more flexible.  We'll see.

Alright!  So back to the reason I'm posting:

According to the owner, this house was built in 1871.  It was split into four apartments during the First World War, we think.  Our space is about 630 square feet.  It's small, but the twelve foot ceilings in our living room, tall doorways and eight foot ceilings in our bedroom/kitchen make it feel less so.  We love this place.

Living and dining room:

Bedroom space between living room and kitchen:

Bathroom:

And kitchen:

our baby

.... is a boy

We could have watched this ultrasound all day long.  I only wish the technician would stay still for long enough to really see our little guy move.  He's a boy.  We both knew it.  Ian was a little more careful about assuming he was right about our first boy, so he decided to be content with not (really) knowing. But to know for sure was very reassuring.  We're so giddy.

Cute stories I'd like to remember:

I had my arm up behind my head so I could see the ultrasound screen better.  Before we finished, the technician took one more look at our baby's profile-- and there he was with his arm up behind his head, just like me.  That's what the second picture is, if you can tell.  There's his little arm right up behind his neck.  Glad he's comfortable in there right now.  Space will be limited here soon, I think.

Ian and I went out that evening to find a little something for our son.  (Our son--how incredible is that!)  After looking at a few things, we finally found something we both liked enough to buy and began to discuss the size.  We decided on 3-6 months.  Who knows how big this kid will be?  I'll remind you that my husband is 6'9" and was 10 lbs 1 oz when he was born.  And he was about 22 inches long...?  I think?  When the technician zeroed in on the baby's foot, she said "There's his... well, I was going to say little foot, but that's a big foot!"  Anyway-- while discussing what size to get Ian said "I think three to six months is safe.  He could wear it when he's three months, but he can wear it a little big before then also."  After he said this Ian found me grinning really big.

Let me explain.  This baby thing has been pretty surreal.  It's still surreal, but it's slowly becoming more and more of a reality.  Hearing Ian come to a logical conclusion about our kids clothes/size/whatever made it so real somehow.  I apologize if this doesn't make sense to you.  All of my conversations with Ian concerning babies has been hypothetical up to the last few months.  For years it was a lot of 'what if's' and wondering.  All of a sudden our conversations are logical, based on reality.  It's still so amazing that this is happening.  It's not hitting us all at once.  It's been bit by bit.  Like a conversation about the growth of our son and the clothes he'll need.  

We're loving this.

currently: 21 weeks and 4 days along.

passing weeks

  

We're wigging out a little bit that we're already almost halfway through this pregnancy.  Time moves so quickly with a full agenda.  I think the weirdest part about our to-be baby is how normal it all feels right now.  It's certainly strange and surreal that it's actually happening-- but overall, us getting ready to have a baby feels as normal as Tuesday.  

I'm having a difficult time composing sentences that flow and make sense right now.  There is so much in my head.  So much in my heart.  So many things I'm learning and experiencing.  I think I'll revert to my habit of list-making.  A list of thoughts and feelings right now.

Only three more months of work.  Our plan is for me to stay at home for as long as possible.  My 2 and 3 year old students will graduate from my classroom at the end of May and my little year of teaching preschool will close for a time.  I'm anxious for work to end because 9 AM to 6 PM is a long day for this pregnant body... but at the same time I'd like it to stay at a steady pace as I continue to soak up the goodness of this age group.  

I'm beginning to feel more myself again.  I'm beginning to remember all my little aspirations and dreams now that my teacher channel has begun turning down.  I feel the need to write again.  To create.  To sew.  To sing.  To take pictures and video.  To organize.  To play and create music.  To find that really good fail-proof bread recipe.  To grow lavender.  To make jam.  Who knows how long it will take for me to get to those things.  I dont know.  I don't really care either.  I'm content with this year being a year of my changing life and family, whatever it brings.  But it feels good to have that inspiration again.

I don't think I've ever been so excited for warm weather.  This baby has usurped all my warmth.  And while I'm glad of that, my extremities are left constantly cold.  I cover up with a blanket on my way to work.  I wear long sleeves and sweaters every day.  I use to hate long sleeve shirts.  I've always been such a warm body.   Not anymore.

I love being pregnant.  I love it.  I had a horrible time the first three months, spending my evenings emptying my stomach.  I've replaced that phase now with migraines that begin to rage every day starting at about 4 o'clock.  My sleeping patterns are all over the place.  I have to use the bathroom all the time.  And somehow those things have not felt all that difficult.  I am happier than I've ever been.  I'm feeling confident and content.  I'm feeling blessed and excited.  I have these incredible spurts of energy from time to time that help me accomplish way more than I use to be able to do in a short amount of time.  I've always been amazed at the human body, but this is ridiculous.  Pregnancy is magnificent.

I am never alone.  I always have this little bean with me and I'm so excited to feel its presence more constantly beyond a faint flutter when I lie down a certain way.  I think it's a boy.  Ian, who is so careful about where he places his excitement, insists that we dont know--so I need to stop referring to the baby as 'him,' and 'he.'  But I can't help it.  I would be thrilled for a girl.  I just cannot help but see a boy.  We'll find out for sure on the 22nd of March.  It'll make everything feel more real I think.

Life is feeling pretty neat right now.  It's also feeling pretty intense.  I'm grateful that everything will slow down a little before our little one makes his/her entrance.  I will try to write.   I'll try to record this incredible process.  I'll try to take more pictures.  If not here, at least by hand in my notebook.  Life is in motion over here.  We're just doing our best to take it all in.

currently: 18 weeks along

on being pregnant

what a whirl.

Do you know how strange it is for me to be sitting here, on my couch, looking down at a growing belly?  I've stared and stared at this post for so long, not knowing how to write my feelings.  It's been quite the year for Ian and I.  I think we both had a sense that this was coming, hesitant though we were to speak it aloud in case we would somehow jinx it or put our hopes too high.  But the feeling was there all the same.  

There is so much I could say but I dont know how.  I've hoped and waited and wished and ached for this for so long-- but now it's here I feel nothing but peace about when and how it went about.  How much I've grown in that time.  How much more patient I've become.  How much more sure of who I am and what I'm capable of.  How much more comfortable in my own skin.  How much more aware I am of the man I married and how good he truly is.

It was all part of the plan it seems.

I am grateful for the billions of tiny plans our Father has in mind for us and how those plans coincide and intersect and enhance each other's plans.  I am so looking forward to being a part of this little one's plan. So so so looking forward!   

I am one happy girl

currently: thirteen weeks and three days along.

metaphors

I'm a riddle in nine syllables, 
An elephant, a ponderous house, 
A melon strolling on two tendrils. 
O red fruit, ivory, fine timbers! 
This loaf's big with its yeasty rising. 
Money's new-minted in this fat purse. 
I'm a means, a stage, a cow in calf. 
I've eaten a bag of green apples, 
Boarded the train there's no getting off.

by Sylvia Plath

in other words... I am very pregnant.  More thoughts to come soon.  Feeling grateful.