a letter to joanna

My Jo!

You're already four months old little girl!  Time has been a funny thing this year.  Going so slow and so fast at the same time.  I feel like I'm learning more and more about you every day.  You're different from your brother in a lot of ways.  You're definitely more introverted than he was/is.  Sometimes, when comforting you isn't working, I put you down on your play mat and you're good.  You just needed some alone time.  I totally get that.  But you're like me too in that when you need to feel connected, you really need it.  So, mommy holding you and squishing my face against yours is the only remedy to your mood sometimes too.  And that's fine by me. 

Peter makes you happy!  And that makes me happy.  He doesn't even have to be doing anything.  He'll just stand beside you and you will grin up at him and sometimes break out into a laugh just because he's talking to me.   I can't wait to see your relationship with him strengthen. 

I may not be interpreting this right,  so no worries lady.  But I get the sense sometimes that you feel things very deeply.  Your range of emotions is already so wide.  Your cries, coos, laughs, screams and squeals all display very specific emotions.  You're so little, so there are many things this could mean-- but I wonder if this is a preview of your passion and interaction with what's around you.

I'm excited to see what's ahead for you little one.  You're very vocal.  You moan a lot with your mouth closed.  "Mmmmmmmmm!  mmmmmmmmmmmm!"  You look just like a cabbage patch doll when you do it.  I find it adorable.  You squeal very loud when you're happy.  You're starting to laugh more and more and you're always very happy and smiley when we play with you.  You coo.  Sometimes your cooing sounds like you're telling us very important observations.  I look forward to those moans and coos turning into talking and singing.

You are super excited about eating solids already.  I've let you suck on an orange and a banana, and given you smidgen of avocado and every time your face was priceless.  A large open mouth ready for more, limbs crazy with excitement and eyes so big as if to say... "You mean there are different flavors?!"  All in good time darling!  

I love you.  I love you for sleeping through the night already.  I love it when you flap your arms and pump your legs when you're excited.  I love your grippy fingers on my clothes, fingers and hair.  Especially when you're eating.  I love that you smile with your whole face.  Your crinkly shining eyes, your scrunched up nose, your huge open mouth.  You light up our house!  I love you when you're happy.  I love you when you're sad.  And mad.  And tired.  And hungry.  And whatever else that comes with you.

Because you're mine.  And I am so grateful.

love you forever,

Mom