forging a path

Hi hi hi.

Oh Lexington and your beautiful black barns

I've been specifically not blogging for a while now.

You see,  I'm searching for a consistent balance in my life.  I've been a mom for about eleven months now and I've been all over the place with that desire for balance.  It seems as though I can only tip the scale heavy to one side every time I attempt what I've decided was missing the week before.  It's tough being your own boss at home with your employer (my baby) demanding every second of your head space and time.

It's getting better all the time.  Especially now that sleep training is complete and I'm sleeping again.  Turns out that major imbalance on the scale was called "sleep deprivation." It seems so simple, but it's been a major challenge for me.  I could go into massive detail about this, but I'm not going to.

I love being a mom.  I love watching this boy grow and change every minute.  And he really does!  He's constantly going at life.  Taking everything in all the time, figuring it out, and moving on to the next thing.  He's all smiles.  He gives me voluntary kisses and hugs.  Man, I don't think anyone could have expressed to me how incredible those would be.  What a lift!  Motherhood is everything I hoped and a whole lot of hard I couldn't have imagined.  But I suppose anything truly worth anything in life requires hard work and sacrifice.

I don't know what I'm saying.  Maybe that's why I've quit blogging.  No.  That's not it.  My point is, I'm attempting to forge a new path right now.  I feel I have a chance to use my time better, because more than any other time in my life, my schedule is in my power.  I don't know if I'm ready to add blogging to that just yet.  But perhaps in the future.  It is in me to write.  And I do love to share.

But until then... this space will probably stay pretty quiet.

glass trees

I wish I could have captured it.

We've been trapped (or so it feels) in a winter globe.  It's cold.  It's snowy.  It's gloomy.  Kentucky produces what is called "freezing rain," a thing I didn't quite understand being from dry Utah and it's powdery winters.  It's rain that's not quite snow but is cold enough to ice everything over.  Everything over.  Every branch, blade of grass, bush, etcetera is coated with ice.  It can be scary because the weight of it on the trees causes big branches to break, sometimes falling onto power lines.   Many in KY are still without power.  And of course, the ice makes traveling pretty nerve racking as well.

But man, is it beautiful.

Peter and I hadn't ventured out.  I succumbed to my annual blues this week compliments of the dregs of January and continuation of winter from February.  We've watched a lot of Netflix.  Taken a lot of naps.  Forced ourselves to not make batches of cookies to consume and settled on a handful of chocolate chips here and there.  I forget what its like, these winter blues.  Every year it hits me like a wave and I have that sick nostalgia of a gloom that is strictly seasonal but feels pretty real.  I know it'll pass and so I don't worry.

This being at home thing all the time is new to me though and I feel a little more powerless to fight against the gloom.  So when the sun came out (even though the temperature didn't join up with it) I decided we needed to take advantage and get out.  For not anything special, even.  I just went to Trader Joe's.  But as soon as I was out my breath was taken.  The ice didn't budge from it's coating, even with the sun come out, and the combination was a scene I won't forget.  The sun instead reflected off that ice making everything gleam and shine like glass.  Can you picture it?  Imagine turning on to a road coming out of our neighborhood lined with maples.  Three rows, the sides and the median, of these full and beautiful trees, go all the way down the road.  This uniformal tree-lined street shows off the best of each season.  But the scene that day just may have taken the cake.  I drove onto a hall of glass trees, sparkling in the sun, with a soft blue-skied background to show it off.  Surely this is something one can only imagine.

It reminded me that even though everything appears gloomy and uninviting, even a little light can turn it into a beautiful scene beyond what you could have hoped.

perspective and choice, sash.

perspective and choice.

julia child

"Find something you're passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it."


"You'll never know everything about anything,  especially something you love."


"I discovered that when one follows the artist's eye one sees unexpected treasures in so many seemingly ordinary scenes."


"If you don't pick your audience, you're lost because you're not really talking to anybody."


"Everything in moderation... including moderation."

open quote cred

half birthday

We recently celebrated your half birthday, little one.  How can that be?  How are you through half a year already?  Well, I can tell you one thing.  It's been some of the best six months of our lives with you here.  You're so great.  Right now you are rolling all over the place.  I'm sure crawling all over the place is not far behind.  You are so sweet and you love the morning.  Most mornings you wake up cooing to yourself in your bed to let us know you're awake.  And when we finally do get you out of bed, you smile so big at us that we laugh and provide commentary for you.  It's as if you're saying "This is my best day!"  You've officially started eating.  Mostly just rice, but you'll try anything and everything we hand you.  You've gotten pretty good at letting us help you drink from a glass.  I joke that it may be because you're not aware of your baby state--and assume you're just like us with a few drawbacks (not walking for instance..)  You finally met most of mom's side of the family for New Years and you were so sweet and excited.  Especially to meet your cousin Mary who's just over a month older than you.  The most frequent comment we received about you was concerning your distinctive eyebrows and your obvious strength.  You're tall like you're Daddy.  You love to scream and make monster noises.  You are interested in just about everything.  And we love you.

forever and ever,

mom and dad

new year

communicate better.  communicate more.  eat whole real foods.  bake more.  cook more.  experiment more.  read.  fall into the scriptures.  keep a pen in hand when you read them.  find a schedule; make a routine.  then stick to it as closely as you are able.  put more heart into your callings.  respond quickly to promptings.  especially when it involves contacting others.  get out of the house.  get outside as often as you can.  help Peter to see the outdoors and try and inspire his own connection to being outside.   keep flowers in the house. doodle.  draw.  write.  collage.  worry less about what others think of you.  put more emphasis on what God thinks and what Ian thinks of you.  expand your comfort zone.  and do so by getting out of your comfort zone.  move.  exercise.  reach out.  try.  be.

photo cred.