when i grow up

I'm going to be a preschool teacher.

via Etsy

I've always wanted to be a teacher.  It was my go-to answer whenever I was asked the question 'what do you want to be when you grow up?'  But it's been quite the journey to learn that I don't just want to teach.  I want to teach preschool.

Originally I thought I'd teach high school as an english/humanities teacher.  I had two fabulous teachers in high school that inspired me to the point that I was convinced I wanted to follow in their footsteps.  But after a few classes in college I pulled away from the thought of teaching high school, feeling overwhelmed and scared at the thought.  Then a little after I was first married, I worked in daycare and acknowledged that I loved to work with little ones.  I reaffirmed this in the after school program, noticing I tended to work better with the younger age groups than with the older.  Particularly when we had a chance to work with middle/high school age children on occasion.  No, these older kids were not a fit for me.  I came away thinking that perhaps I'd teach elementary school--though I wasn't crazy about every aspect of it.  Sometimes I'd wonder if I should become some sort of specialist so I could work with children one-on-one.  Or maybe I could teach special-education?

Then I began working at my current job as a teacher's assistant to two year olds.  It's the first job I've had that I wasn't trying to figure out when I could leave.  (am I terrible, or what?  haha)  I have loved working with these two-year-olds.  More importantly, I have loved working with the lead teacher I'm assisting.  I believe things happen for a reason, and I knew almost immediately after working with this teacher that I was meant to be in her classroom.  I have learned so much from her and respect her so much as a teacher.  She is someone I can truly model and hope to be like.  She is organized, calm, consistent and aware of the capacity of these young children.  She's taught me to trust that these kids can do more than you'd expect.  For example, the week around Easter we were learning about ovals i.e. eggs.  On the last day of the week the teacher brought real eggs for the kids to crack.  I groaned inside thinking she was crazy.  Give two year olds real eggs to crack?  What a mess!  But it wasn't.  One by one, each child broke an egg over a bowl with a spoon.  They squished it in their fingers and felt the texture of it-- and then we washed their hands.  It was controlled, simple and fun!  Not at all what I was expecting.

I was content to work with this teacher for however long I might, but a few weeks ago she approached me with an idea.  "What would you think about being a lead teacher?" she asked me.  There was a vacant spot for the art teacher and she supposed that the current teacher in charge of the classroom above ours of two and three year olds would do really well as the art teacher-- thus leaving a spot open for the lead teacher.  Me.

It's been a long few weeks since the suggestion was made.  But it's been a very telling one.  I got the job.  After this teacher's suggestion I thought and thought, and prayed and prayed and felt strongly that I should approach the director about it.  Since then it has been like clockwork.  I begin teaching in my own classroom next month.  I've had a few days to substitute in the classroom I'll be leading and I've come to learn that it is completely my element.  I love it.  I love preschool!  I've come to realize how much you can teach kids of this age.  And also how important it is to have good teachers for children this age!  You need teachers who care.  And see it not as a babysitting job but as a teaching position.  Teach them how to communicate the right way.  When and how to say please and thank you.  How to care for your environment by putting your things away and taking care of what you've been given.  How to treat your friends.  To have fun with learning!  I was not expecting to be able to apply the knowledge I've learned from this job so quickly, but I am grateful for it.  It will certainly be a challenge and I'm not going to pretend that I'm not super anxious about it.  But I'm excited all the same.

I'm a preschool teacher!  It took me a while to figure it out.  Despite the many hints I've been given that it was my path.  But I cannot tell you the freedom and joy of knowing exactly who I want to be when I grow up.  Though I've always thought I would be a teacher I was never completely stalwart in the idea.    I've dappled with a lot of ideas.  I could open up an independent bookshop/cafe.  I could go into interior design.  I could go into photography.  I could try acting/singing/dancing.  I could help Ian and become a videographer/editor.  But no.

I'm a preschool teacher.